If you and your ex have young children, you have a long road ahead since you have to raise your children and deal with your ex. A co-parenting model is one of the possible ways that you can choose to raise your children, but this requires you to have an open line of communication with your ex.
There are many challenges that come with co-parenting. One of these is that you and your ex have to agree on various points of parenting, including making rules and having a consistent method of parenting. When issues come up, it is all too easy to become focused on the negatives but this can be counterproductive. Here are some tips to think about when matters get contentious.
Listen carefully
Some issues during co-parenting relationships are the result of nothing more than miscommunication. You have to take time to listen to what is being said. Make sure that you understand what your ex is saying. Ask for clarification if there is something you still don’t understand, but make sure you do this in a way that doesn’t sound condescending. You don’t want to make any assumptions that could lead to problems down the road.
Be open
You have to be willing to communicate freely about matters related to the children with your ex. Important matters should be shared in a timely manner. You can’t put off these discussions, even if the matter isn’t going to be pleasant to discuss. In some cases, having a line of communication in writing can help with contentious matters since there is a physical record of what is said and any agreements that you and your ex are able to come to.
Find the right time
You shouldn’t discuss contentious matters in front of the children or in public. Instead, you should find a private time to speak to your ex. If this can’t happen in person, make a phone call. Your children aren’t mini-adults and shouldn’t be expected to relay messages from one parent to the other. By discussing things directly with your ex, you take the pressure off of your children and reduce the chance that there will be something lost in message relays.
There is no parenting model that will work in all cases. You and your ex have to find ways to make the situation work in a way that helps your children. This might take time and tweaking, but it is possible.
