Most divorce attorneys will agree that you can’t go wrong by mediating a divorce. Even if the mediation fails, at least you’ve given it a shot and, by doing so, had a chance at the many benefits that mediation can bring — like saving money, time, stress and preserving your and your future ex’s good relationship in the future.
All that being said, however, a wise attorney will admit that some situations do not bode well for the mediation process. Most of these involve the mindset of you and your spouse. One spanner in the gearbox of your mediation process — regardless of who it happens to be — can make it an exercise in futility.
Here are a few things to watch out for that could be signs your divorce mediation is going to fail:
1) One side of the divorce wants the other side to suffer
Sometimes the toxic nature of human relations leaves one person wanting to have their revenge. The only thing that will make this person feel content is to make the other spouse suffer.
In these situations, the vengeful side of the equation might even sacrifice their own well-being and happiness just so that the other person has a very bad time of things. As you might imagine, this is not the attitude required for a successful mediation process.
2) You don’t see things in the same way as your spouse
Philosophical differences between your worldview and the worldview of your spouse might be the reason you’ve decided to part ways. When you have a different view of reality from your spouse and there’s no way to reconcile it, the question of “Who is right?” doesn’t matter. You will not be able to reach agreement in your mediation.
3) You can’t speak up for your own needs
Some spouses will simply roll over again and again, without advocating for their own needs. Either that, or they’ll quietly fail to speak up and say what they want/need and the other side will never know what’s required to reach an agreement.
This could result in one spouse “giving away the farm” or the spouse who is quiet might simply never be satisfied with the process and will refuse to agree. This is one of the reasons it’s important to have an attorney by your side to advocate for your needs.
Are you ready to mediate your divorce?
When it comes to your divorce, it’s your time, your feelings, your money — and it could even be your children — on the line. Make sure you analyze all of your legal options carefully. You may want to consider mediation, which could enable you to divorce in the easiest, most expedient and cost-efficient fashion.