There are many viewpoints of divorce, some think of it negatively and some positively. However, what many may not realize is that it can be a radical act of self-love.
Seeing divorce in a negative light
Many believe that divorce is a four-letter word. Indeed, many religious organizations punish those that go through the process and some studies have found that it can have negative effects on children. Indeed, most cultural tropes have ingrained in us an idea of absentee fathers, struggling mothers and awful stepparents and stepsiblings that make post-divorce life seem like a Hellscape. That simply is not the case, at least not for most.
Thinking about divorce differently
Think about a bad marriage. Bad marriages run the gambit. It can be one that is abusive, whether physical, emotional or both. It could be one where the couple spends the days fighting. Though, it could just be that the couple drifted away and lost their love. In all these relationships, most would agree, divorce is likely a better option than living in an unhappy, unhealthy or dangerous marriage.
Divorce as an act of self-love
This brings us to how divorce can be thought of as an act of self-love. Divorce frees children from unhealthy environments and stops the crushing of one or both spouses’ spirits. Bluntly, if both parents are happier, then the family is better off. This is also not to say that one does not love their spouse anymore, just that they love themselves more and want to be healthier and happier.
A tale of two paths
Loving oneself more than their partner is not necessarily a bad thing. Indeed, take the example of a person who has children, but does not want to sacrifice their career for their children. Some people value their careers, and there is nothing wrong with that. The other spouse also may not want to sacrifice their career for their children, but they want the other spouse to do so. This divergence will strain the home relationship as home duties will be neglected, but the strain to make that situation work will mean someone will have to subordinate their ambitions.
“We stayed together for the kids”
This is such a common phrase for Fort Myers, Florida, married couple when talking about why they waited so long to initiate their high net-worth divorce. But, remember, this is not healthy. The children will know that, which could breed resentment from everyone.
