Going through a divorce is tough, especially when there are children involved. In recent years, many couples have made the decision to co-parent their kids, essentially raising them together even though they are divorced and no longer live together.
Research shows that co-parenting is an excellent option for children. The divorce does not affect them as much; it is less of a shock to their system, and they feel loved and supported by their parents.
However, co-parenting does not come without its challenges. While it depends on the couple, because some couples are more laid-back and others are more structured, be prepared for potential disagreements and challenges, as well as know how you will approach them.
Putting the kids first
Anytime there is conflict, remind yourselves that you chose this arrangement because of the kids. Remembering this takes your mind off whatever the conflict is and tries to find a solution that is best for your child.
Communicate clearly and often
Parents who are excellent communicators do much better in co-parenting and have fewer disagreements because many of these occur because of a lack of communication or misunderstandings.
For this reason, communicating often and clearly is really important. Practice communicating well if you need help and remember that these are the most important things to consider when improving your communication skills:
- Identify what you want to communicate
- Think of a way to say it in a way that is not aggressive
- Use “I” statements and be vulnerable
- Listen to the other person when they respond
- Be conscious of your tone of voice and body language
Following these steps will make you a better communicator and help you solve problems in an efficient, non-adversarial way.
Create a co-parenting plan
Many couples, including the ones who get along the best, find that having a co-parenting agreement or plan or schedule helps everyone.
It is easy to forget schedules, what one parent said to the other, your kids’ school events, and what you agreed to do over the holidays. For this reason, sitting down and writing it on paper can be extremely helpful in creating an environment of collaboration and fostering a successful co-parenting experience.
