All marriages have their ups and downs. There are things that we can do to help smooth over those rough patches. However, at some point, no amount of patching can fix a truly broken marriage.
How do couples know when it is time to call it quits?
Try before the split
Before you and your, maybe soon-to-be, ex-spouse decided to end your marriage, it may be worth trying to salvage it. Unless there is domestic violence, you are married for a reason, and perhaps, you just need to find that spark again.
Communication is the key
The key to many marital issues is communication. Communication refers to how you speak to each other and how you resolve issues. You both need to be heard and understand how to effectuate mutual understanding.
Otherwise, breakdowns and arguments are inevitable. Working on your active communication skills and learning how to appropriately resolve your issues should be your first goal.
To work on your communication and conflict resolution skills (as well as any other issues), you will likely need professional help. Most marriages with issues have deep-rooted and complex issues and resolving them without professional help is usually impossible. You can use therapists, counselors or even life coaches.
Do not forget to work on yourself too. In addition to marriage counseling, look for individual counseling or therapy to work on your own issues.
Signs that it may be time to divorce
Abuse means it’s time to divorce, regardless of the type of abuse.
Second, if you no longer trust your spouse, and you cannot find a way back to trust, then the marriage is likely over. Trust is the backbone of a marriage, and without it, it is likely time to call it quits.
Finally, if you sought help, did the homework, worked on the marriage, worked on yourself, etc., but still are unhappy in your marriage, then divorce may be the best option. You deserve to be happy, and staying in an unhappy marriage can impact your health and well-being.
If your marriage has run its course though, and you both are ready to end it. That does not mean it has to be contentious. Through a collaborative divorce, you both can take ownership of the process and make it as amicable as possible.